thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize