WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
We are all done wearing pants today
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
