i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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