Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
What a dumb baby whore.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize