sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
