he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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