she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
