Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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