Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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