I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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