maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
