she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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