You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
