Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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