did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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