what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
why is half of my head shaved?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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