this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I pour the whiskey from now on
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
