...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I didn't notice because vodka
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
