is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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