He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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