I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
it's like iHOP with fire
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
