she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
