...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Randomize
