I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
