That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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