So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Randomize
