The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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