guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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