Its about making memories worth repressing
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
