I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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