What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
