Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
