I must be too annoying 4 u.
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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