Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
