So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
