my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
