I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
