I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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