Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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