come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
