no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
