just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
