Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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