I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
