Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
