when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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