I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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