can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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