sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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