epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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