Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
