Rock
Scissors
Fuck
If that was your dad, he is hot
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
