Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
