If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
