Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize