Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
