I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
The dick lei will go down in squad history
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize