just tell him i said nine months
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
